Friday, August 27, 2010

America's Obesity Epidemic

It seems we continually hear about the obesity epidemic in America, and there is no apparent solution. Well, last weekend we were in Kansas, nevermind why, and I came across what has to be the cause of widespread obesity.

All this time, farmers have been fertilizing their fields with ASGROW!! No wonder we're all chubby!

So here's the solution; get the farmers to stop using ASGROW and start using something healthier. Do you suppose there's a product out there with a name like ASSHRINK?

Sunday, August 15, 2010


On NPR's Morning Edition Thursday, there was a report of a group of concerned folks in St. Louis who raised $15K in donations and headed off to the Gulf to "Stimulate the Economy." I was absolutely amazed by what I heard. Essentially, they went on vacation to the Gulf, spending the money on meals, motels and souvenirs. I don't know about other folks, but to me it sounds like a group went on vacation at other people's expense. Mt first thought was that if I had donated money to their "cause," I might just be on my down there to get my donation back, thus further stimulating the economy as I attempted to track down these scam artists.

Then it occurred to me, its brilliant. I should also be stimulating the economy in much the same way. My concerns are of course, a bit different. I am concerned about the yacht builders and all of their suppliers. I am also concerned about the ecomomies of many of the pacific islands, who have suffered downturns from the worldwide recession. So here's the deal; send me money, enough to buy an ocean capable sailboat, provisions for at least a year, and enough to stimulate the economies of Hawaii, the Marshall Islands, Tahiti, Fiji, New Zealand, and any other islands I can reach. In return, I will quit my job, leaving an opening for someone else in the Poenix area, and take delivery on the yacht. Since I have no experience with ocean sailing or navigation, I will stimulate someone's economy as they teach me the ropes. Then I will head to the Pacific and do all I can to stimulate the economies of as many islands as you can afford to have me visit.

Remember, its for a noble cause!