Old Fat & Slow Gear Vol.8 - Helmets

Anyone who survived their childhood and now understands that they aren't invincible also knows that some simple preventative items can extend extend their lives significantly. In the world of cycling, one of those simple things is head protection. Nothing like a brain bucket to keep the skull intact. When I started bicycle commuting to downtown Portland Oregon back in the mid 1970s, I bought my first helmet. It was an MSR (Mountain Safety Research) consisting of orange lexan with dense foam lining. It had 3 vent holes in the front and 3 in the back. I actually used the helmet for its intended purpose once when a dog tried to attack my front wheel. I went over the bar and rolled a couple of times, bouncing my helmet off the pavement on each rotation. I figure MSR saved my life that time. I was able to get up, sorta straighten the front wheel and wobble on in to work. I had a stiff neck for a few days and the helmet had some deep scratches. Since then, I won't ride across the street without donning a helmet.

My most recent helmets include a Giro Gila (the red one) that I used for probably too long (Its probably a good idea to replace a helmet every 3 or 4 years). It was reasonably comfortable, but in spite of the Roc loc strap sytem, it didn't stay put as well as I would have liked. That became obvious when I started riding in Phoenix, where the trails are enough to rattle your teeth out. I know, riding a stiff aluminum hardtail might be part of the problem, but a new helmet is cheaper than a new bike.


I finally decided to replace the Giro with a new bucket, and searched around the local stores until I found one that fit. The box advertised that it had a GPS system! Turns out it had a little thumbwheel on the back that tightens and loosens its grip on the head. They even had the gall to call it a "Global Positioning System." Now, I know I have a somewhat large hat size, but refering to my head as a globe is a bit much. They even put this system on smaller sizes. I had to wonder if they have one that fits Pluto, which isn't even a planet any more. I would have expected that having GPS would help me figure out where I am, but no, all it does is keep the thing in one place. Its no competition for Garmin. A nice feature with this Bell Influx is that it has lots of big vents, which is a good thing in the hot times of Phoenix. I don't recommend it for a long day in the saddle though, because you'll end up with an interesting sunburn design on your globe. I could slather SPF 45 on my bald spot (most of my noggin), but lotion melting and running down into my eyes really sucks.